Have you ever taken a test, or assessment to discover who you are, what job best suits you, or which relationships fit you best? Do you know your “type”?

Thinking Styles.

Too many modern assessments and models put people in boxes: you’re an A-type, where you hang in the 4 quadrants, models of personality etc… As much as it is useful to discover certain character traits, those tend to limit us rather than assist us to expand our perception of who we are and how we are “supposed” to behave, because they tend to function deductively (from outside to inside) rather than inductively (from inside to outside).

Another less obvious, but probably more accurate and constructive approach is to focus not on WHAT people think or believe or their personality type, but HOW they think about them, looking at the lenses they use to understand their world: their work, their relationships, themselves in relation to the environment. It’s an inductive model of understanding (i.e. the opposite of limiting), because it reflects the increasing level of complexity that a mind has to develop in order to fit in a given external environment.

The question we ask is: are the mind capacities of a person suited to their life conditions? When we achieve congruency between the 2, we are in balance. Balance is the ultimate purpose, because when you reach a state of perfect equilibrium… you function perfectly in your world, and… what else do you need?

When life conditions change, we often need to develop new ways to cope with a changed reality, which means essentially, new mind capacities, and new ways to think about our world.

Want to know more? Click here.

Share on Facebook

One of the first NLP techniques that I teach in our corporate trainings is a technique called ‘REFRAMING’. Although easy to perform, it is a very, I mean VERY powerful technique. So powerful in fact, that sometimes, it is the only technique needed to change a behaviour of even a belief.

What is a “reframe” and when is it useful?
Reframing simply refers to something we do all the time: the process of changing the meaning of a statement or situation.
How is this useful?

This is useful in a myriad of situations:

• In sales: answering objections raised by a prospect (in sales, reframing is called “handling objections”)
• In education: reframing students who lack self confidence (‘I’ll never make it’)
• In negotiation: reframing both parties so that they come to a solid agreement faster.
• In human resources: improve relationships between people who have different ideas
• In meetings: smoothen out communication

etc…

In the Presuppositions of NLP, “The Map is not the territory” means that all meaning is context dependant. If a certain word has a certain meaning, the meaning depends on the context in which it appears.

There are many different ways to reframe (in fact, during the NLP Master Practitioner & Coach training we look at 20 powerful reframes), but the 2 basic ones are:
– Context reframes
– Content reframes.

What is the difference between “Contexts” and “Content” reframe?

Context Reframe is giving another meaning to a statement by changing the context.
Example: ‘my 6-years old daughter is too head-strong’ ‘won’t you be happy when she grows up that she will be able to end for herself?’ (that’s taken from a real-life example from Milton Erickson).

Content Reframe is giving another meaning to a statement by recovering more content, which changes the focus. It is also called Meaning Reframe.
Example: ‘My boss always comes to me when he wants someone to deal with this most difficult customer who is also the most important.’ ‘He must trust you so much!’

Want to know more? In our trainings, we go deeper into the Art of Reframing. Join The MasterMinds NLP Certification training in March! Click HERE, or email me.

Share on Facebook

Alfred Korzybski in “Science and Sanity” (1933) reflects on the verb “to be” and the process of identification. He used to train people to avoid saying “I am”, asking them “Is this all you think you are?”.

Have you noticed when we are asked “who are you”, often, we say our name, and maybe mention our occupation/job title? Is this all we are? The verb TO BE can be limiting and reflects our beliefs about ourselves.

His work was based on the view that human beings are limited in their knowledge by the structure of their perceptions and their language. Unable to experience the world directly, they resort to “abstractions” (non-verbal perceived impressions and verbal indicators expressed through language). The structure of our perceptions and our language (which determine our understanding) sometimes misleads us as to what is going on, what we must deal with. We create an abstraction and this is the reality we deal with. He called for an increased awareness in each of us of that process of abstraction.

Interestingly enough, some 800 years before Korzybski, in India, Shankaracharya, the creator of the philosophy of non-duality Advaita Vedanta, mentioned the human process of “Adhyasa”, superimposition of meaning onto the unchanging reality through our senses, and its remedy, “Apavada” deconstruction of the operation of the senses.

Expanding the structure of our language and our perceptions, we can truly achieve mind-bloggling results!

Mind-Changing Courses.
Note: There is a print link embedded within this post, please visit this post to print it.

Share on Facebook

Alfred Korzybski in “Science and Sanity” (1933) reflects on the verb “to be” and the process of identification. He used to train people to avoid saying “I am”, asking them “Is this all you think you are?”.

Have you noticed when we are asked “who are you”, often, we say our name, and maybe mention our occupation/job title? Is this all we are? The verb TO BE can be limiting and reflects our beliefs about ourselves.

His work was based on the view that human beings are limited in their knowledge by the structure of their perceptions and their language. Unable to experience the world directly, they resort to “abstractions” (non-verbal perceived impressions and verbal indicators expressed through language). The structure of our perceptions and our language (which determine our understanding) sometimes misleads us as to what is going on, what we must deal with. We create an abstraction and this is the reality we deal with. He called for an increased awareness in each of us of that process of abstraction.

Interestingly enough, some 800 years before Korzybski, in India, Shankaracharya, the creator of the philosophy of non-duality Advaita Vedanta, mentioned the human process of “Adhyasa”, superimposition of meaning onto the unchanging reality through our senses, and its remedy, “Apavada” deconstruction of the operation of the senses.

Expanding the structure of our language and our perceptions, we can truly achieve mind-bloggling results! In coaching, conscious use of language assist clients to expand their model of the world, and consequently, solve their problems.

Click here to learn how.

Share on Facebook

One of the most crucial skills for success and happiness is the ability to change our perspective on circumstances, people, situations, behaviours etc…

The technical term for this is “reframing”.

Reframing is about changing the meaning OR the context of a presenting problem or behaviour. It is used ALL THE TIME. In selling, reframing is called handling objections! Reframe yourself to regain motivation, or change perspective on a challenging situation. Reframe clients in coaching. The list is endless.

How Does It Work?

So, how do you reframe, how do you change the meaning or context in sales, in management, education or in coaching in order to change how you or others understand the world around them?

The Polish-American scientist and philosopher Alfred Korzybski coined the phrase “The Map is not the territory”, which indicates that all meaning is context dependant. Let me write that again: all meaning is context dependant. If a certain word has a certain meaning, the meaning depends on the context in which it appears.

This is how they make dictionaries! By checking in what context the word appears in all the books in print. All meaning is dependant upon the context in which is appears.

What does this mean? All content is reframable by changing the context, if we change the structure of what we are talking about, we can reframe virtually anything.

By the way, if you are in the business of advising or coaching people, this  is a fundamental truth to keep in mind: what your client tells you (the content) does not matter as much as how they tell you (the structure). Advertisers and marketers have known and utilised this for decades!

In sales, the ability to reframe means making a difference to your turnover. What’s one of the most common objection in sales? “It’s too expensive”. A few years back, l’Oreal created what has become one of the most famous reframes in the world of marketing with the tagline: “Because You’re Worth It”.

Different Types Of Reframes

There are many ways to reframe, but in this article, we’re looking at 2 major reframes: Context and Meaning Reframes.

What do we do when we reframe? We shift our thinking from the level we are at, to a higher logical level; it is like handling a paradox. You are thinking outside of the box the person in front of you is thinking. Your ability to think OUTSIDE OF THE BOX is what is going to make a difference in your results.

Context Reframe

It is best used when someone tells you “I am too …” or “It’s too…” (as in “it’s too expensive”)

You ask yourself “what’s another context for this behaviour where the meaning will be different or the person will respond differently to the same behaviour.”

An example you have probably heard before. “I do not like this food!” “Well, some people do not have anything to eat!”

Another example: “It’s too expensive.” “Expensive? It’s only $2 per day! Less than the price of a cup of coffee!”

You can shift the context by shifting
– location
– time back and forth
– circumstances of the family
– shift to business or relationship
– age
– resources, what skills do you have now
– intention of the behaviour or consequences of the behaviour
etc…

Ask yourself: What is another context for this behaviour that will shift the meaning of this behaviour?

Meaning reframe

Best used when someone tells you “it makes me feel bad”, or “Whenever X happens, I respond Y”

Here, you want to change the content.

Ask yourself: “what else could this behaviour mean?” “What is another frame that will change its meaning?” You change the meaning of the behaviour.

An example: a few years ago, an ad to sell cheap White Tuna went like this “the only Tuna that will not turn pink.”

Another example from one of my coaching clients: “My boss always comes to me when he wants someone to deal with this most difficult customer who is also the most important.” “He must trust you so much!”

Ask yourself: “What else could this behaviour mean?” “What is another frame that will change its meaning?” You change the meaning of the behaviour.

So now what?

OK, so not, are you ready? Just for fun:

1. Make a list of the most common objections you get in your line of work,

2. Ask yourself the 2 questions above and jot down some possible reframes, write as many as come to you, and at least 2.

3. Go ahead and next time you hear the objection, deliver your reframe and see the effect.

Practice and you’ll become a master at reframing!

Want to know more?

Check out the next training HERE (or copy and paste http://www.themastermindsgroup.eventbrite.com in your browser).

Share on Facebook

Have you seen it?

THE video!

You mean, you did not see it? Or did you?

Susan Boyle’s performance at Britains Got Talent of course!

If you have not, click here to the Youtube video.

A VERY interesting phenomenon.
And an absolutely BEAUTIFUL example of Perception is Projection
(refer to video #3 of the Mini Tutorial
for those of you who followed the course)
i.e. we totally create INSIDE what we see in the outside world.

OK, so here it goes.

She appears on stage dressed like an old crow,
there is nothing attractive about her,
she has a strange accent,
it looks like she “styled her hair with a fire-cracker“
(French expression! But I think you see what I mean…).

What good could come out of such a contestant?

EVERYONE (the jury, the public, the Youtube viewers),
has a smile on their face…
The nasty type,
the smile you put on when you say to yourself
“She’s a goner!“
And then get ready to watch the killing.
(Ah! Don’t lie! You didn’t think she had a chance!
I didn’t…)

Then, the music starts,
she opens her mouth and starts singing.
And your jaws drop,
you stop breathing,
and tears come into your eyes…

Frankly, I did not think her voice was the most beautiful I ever heard,
BUT
It is the SHOCK effect!

The difference between
WHAT YOU EXPECT
and
WHAT YOU GET.

For me, it was a wake up call,
An absolute perfect example of the perception & thought processes
that, in my own mind, had made a laughing stock of this woman.

If only for that,
Thank you Susan!

***************************

Feel free to post your comments there
if you want to broadcast your views.

Cheers!
Helene

Share on Facebook

Click below to listen to the Switch-Position exercise.

switch-position-super-power

Is that useful for you? Please leave me a comment below!

Thanks!

Share on Facebook

Sometimes, misunderstanding arises when we do not understand other people’s map of the world, or in other words, when we cannot put ourselves in their shoes.

Each person reacts to the other, the situation escalates, emotions intensify, and the chance of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement disappears in a puff of smoke.

Whether you’re preparing for a meeting, dealing with family members, selling, negotiating, coaching, or giving a presentation, the ability to put yourselves in other people’s shoes massively increases the likelihood of success.

When you are able to adopt a different point of view easily, you gain in your ability to detach from the immediate situation, and to keep your cool in challenging circumstances.

In a word.. you don’t go bananas!

Sounds good to me!

But not only that…

Your ability to look at things from a number of different perspective makes you more flexible, more adaptable, more able to see everything from a higher point of view, and therefore more likely to keep on the right track rather than get swallowed up in non-essential issues.

In a word, you make better choices and decisions.

Sounds really good to me!

The Background for the exercise

The idea is to adopt 3 different perspectives
1. Your own perspective (seeing through your own eyes, in NLP terms, it is called “Association”)
2. Another person’s perspective on the same situation (seeing through THEIR eyes)
3. The Fly on the Wall perspective (a totally detached, 3rd party perspective).

Now it’s important you actually DO IT! Understanding intellectually and experiencing and 2 VERY DIFFERENT THINGS! When you experience, you fix things at the unconscious level, and it is easy to get back into state.

The exercise

OK, so here’s how you do it. I’ll detail the process step by step below, read through it, and then go ahead!

So the first thing I’d like you to do is to recall an argument that you had with someone recently. Not necessarily a major argument, but chose something important enough that you can feel something when you recall the event.

Got that? Good!

OK, ready to go? Sit comfortably and close your eyes now.

1. See what happened through your own eyes, see the other person’s face, his/her facial expressions, what he/she looks like, how he/she moves, the gestures.

Hear the other person’s voice, the tone, the pitch, is it loud, is it soft?

And feel what you were feeling at that time.

Now, I’d like you to float up outside your body, and float down into the other person’s body. And when you do that

2. You see everything that person saw: he/she can see your face in front of him/her, so see your face right now, the facial expressions, the gestures, the body language.

And hear your voice as you are speaking to that person, the tone, the pitch, the volume.

Feel what that person is feeling at that time.

And now, float outside that person’s body, and go and adopt the 3rd party perspective, be the fly on the wall.

3. And see these 2 people there, see their gestures, their body language, their faces, the facial expressions.

Hear the voices, how they speak to each other, the volume of the voices, the different tones, the pitch.

Notice any feeling, or are they not there?

And now come back into your body and open your eyes.

Debrief

How was it, did you notice anything different as you were adopting different perceptual positions? How about your feelings?

What have you learned? What are your conclusions on that matter?

Share on Facebook

A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with a friend who “refused to believe” (his words) that someone could walk over red hot fire coals unharmed. “Prove to me that it is possible!” he said. The fact that I have seen people firewalking unharmed thousands of time, was not a proof. “It is impossible”.

So what is “impossible” really?

Over 2000 years ago, the philosopher Zeno of Greece proved mathematically that it is impossible to cross a river. The argument was as follow: “the distance between one bank of the river and the other is made of an infinite amount of points. It takes an infinite amount of time to cross an infinite amount of points. Therefore it is impossible to cross a river” (I guess most of you didn’t know that it is impossible to cross a river, did you?)

We had to wait 2000 years and the advent of Calculus to show mathematically that an infinite amount of points can be crossed in a finite amount of time. Suddenly, in a split second, the impossible became possible (phew!)

Professor Stephen Hawking, the father of several key scientific discoveries in the field of cosmology and physics said: “It does not mean it is impossible. Only that our understanding is incomplete”.

Conclusion 1 is a question: How can I translate this in my life?

Conclusion 2: As Paul Watzlawick used to say, emotional health comes from growth, not healing.

Share on Facebook

A Rabbi teaches his disciple. “Two men go down a chimney at the same time. One comes out completely clean, the other one dirty. Which one goes to wash himself?” The disciple looks at the Rabbi, thinks for a minute, then says: “the dirty one.” “Not at all!” says the Rabbi. “The dirty one, looking at his clean friend, thinks he is clean as well. The clean one, seeing that his friend is so dirty, concludes that he must be dirty as well and goes to wash.”

“Let me ask you another question” says the Rabbi. “Two men go down a chimney at the same time. One gets to the bottom completely clean, the other one dirty. Which one goes to wash himself?” The disciple looks at the Rabbi, totally puzzled: “You just told me! The clean one!” “Not at all!” replies the Rabbi. “The two men look t themselves, and the dirty one goes to wash.”

“Now one more question” says the Rabbi. “Two men go down a chimney at the same time. One gets to the bottom completely clean, the other one dirty. Which one goes to wash himself?” The disciple is lost: “I do not know, depending on your point of view, either or?” “Of course not!” says the Rabbi, “how can two men go down a chimney at the same time and only one of them remain clean? They are both dirty and go to wash themselves.”

Often, the solution to problems depends on the point of view we adopt. A problem-solving coaching style will promote the client’s ability to get out of his/her usual model of the world.

Share on Facebook